Topic of the Day: Open Letter From A Loyal Reader

Dear LHDC,

I know none of your readers think this way but I am curious if they encounter any prejudice when it comes to their hair.

 

I for one work dang hard to keep hair on me and my daughters heads and it eats me from the sole of my feet up when people make comments like, ‘your light skin, that’s why you have long hair’. WHAT! I feel like I need to carry around fried hair pictures and broke off ends to prove that SORRY SISTA but I too have to work for what I got.

 

I have been growing my hair for 6 years. When I started growing I had a finger snap of hair. I had just got it ‘whipped up’ in Dallas and I was fly! When I got home I decided I was gonna try to grow my hair (for the third time) and what I did different this time is I got educated.

 

My dark skin friend (its relevant I promise) friend has watched me grow my hair for the past six years and it is 2010 when she finally thought the advice I have been giving her (whenever she asks) as valid. So since she is interested in caring for hair now she has said two comments that have ate me from the bottom up:

1.    Girl I was watching this video on youtube and this woman grew her hair in a year using this shea butter mixture and tying her hair back… um, I’ve been doing that for 6 YEARS! Why are this ladies ideas so new and refreshing?????

2.    (After seeing a picture of a dark skin little girl with her hair down to her butt) ‘So it is possible, I’m sold, a dark skin sista with bangin hair!... What does skin complexion have to do with anything?? So my hair growth doesn’t matter because I’m light skin?

This kind of prejudice drives me nutty and I am curious if any of your readers have experienced any kind of discounting of their journey based on ethnic background, the state of their hair when they started their journey (i.e. your hair wasn’t all ate up when you started your journey so THAT is why you have results) or in my case skin complexion (rolling my eyes).

 

This type of community ignorance is why we will never achieve something as simple as hair independence.

 

BIA No Mo

Comments

[RYL]

Wow! I have encountered those who equate skin color with long hair. I grew up in that environment! I took peoples' wonder about my "good hair" as disbelief because I am a chocolate sista...that was the undertone of the comments. Or that I had "Indian in my family" (really people have said/asked this of me)! SMH

My family and friends always called me the one with "good hair"--girl, your hair is not that "bad"--I could never understand the comments. Trust me, I have a serious combination of coils & kinks! The "difference": I've always taken good care of my hair...always bought better products...always liked keeping it healthy, and as a natural, I've learned even more about maintaining a beautiful head of hair, but with no chemicals. That's it.

ANY woman (man, too for what matter) with healthy, well-maintained hair, takes time & care with it...period!

[precious]

the skin color comment was a general statement about light skin and having something other than black in one's geneology. we're all from Africa but there are some blacks that think if ur brown or light that you've got some other races in ur background and the closer those other races are, i.e. parent or grandparent, the easier it will be for u to grow ur hair. African Americans that don't have those "outside" influences have a coiler texture and therefore harder time growing their hair. it's ignorant but a lot of people buy into that.

[Nappyme]

I don't get the "light skinned" comment but I do get the you "good hair" comment...

But it's weird because I have typical tightly coiled/kinky/nappy hair. To society, it's not GOOD hair. But here's what I find interesting, once I really learned how to take care of it, keeping it properly moisturized and in gorgeous styles, I have been constantly told that "Girl...you got that good hair," "See you can go natural, but I got that straight off the african boat hair," "Your hair is soft...I got that hard stuff..." etc., etc., etc.

I've seen people discuss me on hair boards saying that I'm perpetrating the 4B texture. For my hair to look like this I must be a closet 4A of some sort, meaning that I really have that GOOD HAIR and not that horrible bad 4B texture. Cause THEY have 4B and it's totally unmanageable and incorrigible and beyond hope and help and their hair is NOTHING like my hair.

LAWD HAMMERCY!

Now that my hair is midback length, no telling what folks think cause you know "true" nappy hair can't possibly grow long.

Whatever.

[Lorrett]

I get the same thing and I hate it soooooooooo much! I hurts my feelings and pisses me off. It's makes me feel excluded or like I don't fit in anywhere. This is one reason I have almost isolated myself from people.

[Darling Cancerian]

I just take it, and laugh at it. Me personally, I think that people don't WANT this to go away. It's just too juicy of a thought/topic. *eating popcorn*

[limah]

i must admit...i was 1 of those people who thought if you had long hair you had to be mixed with somethin'..foolish i know...i'm glad to say i'm no longer ignorant about hair care

LHDC: Hi, limah!!!! Y'know, I'll bet the majority of Black folks thought/think this but won't admit it. I mean to be honest, I've always had what was considered "long" hair in the Black community, but I believed that my hair could never reach great lengths. I thought that extremely long lengths were only reserved for mixed people or those who weren't Black at all...BUT to this post, I've NEVER associated length with skin complexion mostly because I am a chocolate sista and have always had some length on my hair so...

Not to mention the people who I know in my personal life who have the LONGEST hair are dark skinned...but really, in 2010 for there to still be people who actually verbalize their opinions about dk-skn/lt-skn amazes me. Have we not made ANY progress in the past 140 or so years since slavery was abolished...Yeah, I know that this is just one person's opinion, but we all know that ONE bad apple spoils a bunch....my people....*SMH*

whispering: I know they don't want me to pull out that soap box again...

[Kayla]

I didn't grow up around people that said "good hair" or attributed long hair on black women to being light skinned. I experienced more people who thought that you mustn't be fully black if you have long hair. I've gotten comments like "Are you black" and "what are you mixed with". Ugh. I am as black as the next person! lol.

[Shawn]

Just when I think I've heard it all...I guess I understood when people didn't think that certain hair textures would grow long...but skin tone? What does that have to do with anything...I am light skinned so I am curious to see if I get this reaction when my hair grows out. I recently transitioned from relaxed to natural and my hair is growing like weeds. I'm retaining my length because I wear protective styles and moisturize my hair twice a day (something I never did before). My inspiration and guidance actually came from dark skinned sistas on youtube and color never crossed my mind....I guess I should just feel blessed that I don't have that "slave mentality" that brings so many of our people down...All you can do is pray for her!

[Precious Pearl]

I know exactly how you feel. I have encountered this ignorance all my life. Most women I encounter attribute the length of my hair to my skin complexion. Believe me my hair type and challenges are no different than a sista with a darker skin complexion.

Unfortunately, the myth of light skin complexion equals long "good hair" goes back for many generations. I am hopeful that as more AA women educate themselves on how to properly care for their hair, that this myth will eventually be erased from our culture.

[Ashaunte]

I think her beliefs come down to the fact that as a light-skinned person you have a better chance of growing your hair,because your closer to white and its just a mindset people have come to believe,also media has another thing to do with it,not often do you see dark skinned models with long hair in hair commercials(not saying there is not any) but it can socially alter someones thinking overtime(although im not condoning her thoughts) its not hard for me to believe she feels that way,because I have thought like that too,and then I snapped back into reality and had to realize that black woman as a whole have to equally take care of their hair,hair isnt prejudice to the head its on.

[Janique]

One lady I know told me that the reason why I can go natural is because I have "good" hair. I told her there is no such thing as good hair. I just take care of my hair well. This case wasn't about skin color because she is much lighter than me, but I hate when people say the whole good hair bad hair thing. Any hair that is healthy is "good."